By Guest Blogger, Leanne Pilkington, CEO,
Laing & Simmons and Immediate Past President REINSW
Divorce is a reality for half of marriages. When the decision is made to separate, stress elevates, uncertainty takes hold and fear can even set in. In most cases, people will need to make a property decision, another headache at a delicate time. Too often, made in haste and without a practical mindset, the wrong decision is made. For women, there are ways to feel more empowered when facing decisions like when to sell, where to move to, what to buy on a reduced budget, and more. A strong support cast is essential. Laing+Simmons CEO Leanne Pilkington offers some practical perspective for an emotional time.
For anyone going through separation and divorce, it’s natural to be in a highly emotional state. No-one in these circumstances can be expected to be able to focus purely on the practicalities of selling and buying a property, even though such decisions require a practical mindset.
To avoid making emotionally charged or impulsive decisions, it’s a case of being conscious of the way you’re feeling, understanding that your mindset may be clouded, and drawing on the support you have available. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength. This means being open to the support of friends and family, and when it comes to financial affairs and living arrangements, leaning on professionals you trust.
Communication between former spouses may not always be amicable but there are some decisions which will need to be made together. It’s a generalisation, but the more a separated couple refuses to engage with each other, the more it will cost them both in legal fees.
Ideally, a shared preference for a smooth break will be enough for you to set aside differences long enough for some key decisions to be made. This goes for the timing of the sale of a jointly-owned property, as well as appointing an agent to handle the campaign.
Engaging an empathetic sales agent is one decision to be made together which will benefit you both.
We often say real estate is a people business, not a property business. This certainly rings true in times of heightened stress and high emotion. In choosing an agent, talk to your friends and family. Perhaps they have experience with certain agents who they can recommend.
Talk to agents directly and see who gives you the greatest comfort. Agents aren’t counsellors but they do have a lot of experience dealing with people in challenging times.
Once you decide on an agent you’re both comfortable with, there will be market factors to consider in determining when to make the listing public. This practical consideration falls into the category of “leave it to the agent”. It’s their job and they are the expert.
More important for you is to be clear on your communication expectations. Whether it’s a daily phone call, a written report, a text update or otherwise, be clear with your agent on how and when you want to be communicated with. It’s all part of outsourcing the practical so you can take care of yourself emotionally.
There are other practical considerations you should outsource to a trusted support cast too. Legal advice is essential.
Engaging your own lawyer is not necessarily an aggressive or retaliatory move, it’s simply a necessity. This will give you a general idea of your entitlements and your obligations. Seeking professional financial advice might also be worthwhile, to help you understand your budgeting needs, so you have a clear idea of where you stand and what’s financially at your disposal.
After all, chances are you will need to make a new property purchase, this time on your own. It can be an especially daunting prospect for women, as we all know there remains a significant gender pay gap in Australia.
In the search for a new home, you may have some non-negotiables. Perhaps you need to be in a certain area, because the kids are in school. Proximity to work and other family might be a factor. But just because you have an idea of the kind of property you need, doesn’t mean you can’t outsource the practical search. It often makes sense to.
Buyer’s agents are there to do the legwork. They will help you define the brief, including your ideal property type, location, and budget, then guide you through evaluating price and value, negotiating on your behalf to protect you from overpaying, taking care of due diligence requirements, and essentially assuming practical responsibility for progressing the process from start to finish.
For women facing the reality that they need a new home, a buyer’s agent is the support cast team member whose role is to take care of everything along the way, delivering the keys in your hand.
In navigating a divorce, it’s unfair to expect yourself to manage all the practicalities in the most pragmatic way. Don’t expect yourself to have all the answers. Be conscious of the stress you’re experiencing, because it’s natural.
Instead, focus on taking care of yourself. Surround yourself with support, both personal, in the form of family and friends, and practical, in the form of a trusted professional network
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